July 21, 2014
When it comes to relationships, it is often hard for us to
see what’s really going on. We make assumptions based on the past or cling to
beliefs that may not be accurate. Our assessment of situations may reflect our
own emotional baggage, guilt, or denial. This is true of our relationships with
humans and also our animal companions.
If you are having a behavior issue with your pet, don’t
immediately decide that your animal is mad at you or punishing you. I hear this
very often from clients and it is rarely the case. Since animals can’t
communicate with us verbally, they need to use other methods and most of them
are quite good at finding one that works for them. They know how to get our
attention!!
So, they’ve gotten your attention – now what? Instead of
jumping to conclusions, it’s time to stand back and be more objective about the
situation. Let go of your emotional response which is probably clouding your
understanding. Get quiet and come from a neutral place and ask yourself the
following questions:
- What are the facts? (cat is peeing, dog is biting, horse is bucking, etc)
- What could be causing this? (make a list)
- How am I contributing to this issue? (is there anything I need to change)
- What other possibilities are there?
- How can we “fix” this?
Spend a few minutes thinking about, and feeling the answers
to these questions and write them down. Pretend this issue is happening to
someone else and see what advice you would give to them.
Then get quiet, open your heart and ask your animal for
help. Tell him that you want to resolve the issue and discuss the information
that you’ve compiled. Be receptive and allow the information to flow in. Write
it down, but let it flow for as long as it comes. Then ask your animal if there
is anything else he would like to tell you, or anything he needs or wants.
Pay attention to any insights, thoughts, words, or feelings
that come in. Your animal friend is always trying to communicate with you, and
by getting quiet and receptive, you may just hear/see/feel what he has to say.
Then act on this information and see if it resolves the issue.
Letting go of our emotional response, being objective, and
opening our hearts is the quickest way to resolve any relationship issue –
especially with our pets.
